This is Blooming in the Fourth
I depart for New York City in three days. As I look out into the Hawaiian Pacific, I am overwhelmed by gratitude. In the last seven months, I have been wrapped in a warm blanket - held tightly by my family; given the space and freedom to grow in familiar and safe surroundings.
I have been blessed.
This safety net that has been so solid and steadfast, has made leaving feel daunting. Just like that I have spiraled into a fear of uncertainty. “What will my life look like?” “Will I be lonely?”
“I’m so excited to be single in New York for the first time!” “Being single is horrifying. I’m so alone.”
Can you relate?
Currently I’m laughing to myself because you’d think after years of therapy and self reflection I’d have grasped the reality that life itself is unknown. That I’d float into this new stage of my life with nothing but ease, grace, and acceptance. Here I come on my cloud with no qualms or reservations in sight!
And I’m laughing again.
A year ago, our world was entering what would be the most uncertain time we’ve faced in my lifetime thus far. Our lives as we knew them were rapidly changing. Collectively, we entered the unknown. After the initial shock wore off and anxiety was no longer at Defcon status, I found peace in this unity. And as my life began to shift out of control I clung to this newfound solidarity.
I’ve debated how “deep” I’d like to go on this blog. That speaking openly of my intimate life might be a mistake. What I’ll share is this. In December of 2020, I let go of a relationship that was no longer serving me. Truth be told it hadn’t served me in quite some time, but as a serial “fixer,” I was determined to MAKE IT WORK. The all caps is to emphasize the white knuckling intensity of my efforts. Our story ended in 2020. Yet, I hold no ill will for this person. He is, like myself, another spark of light in this wondrous world. After all, he gave me one of the greatest gifts of all. A chance to get to know myself. And an opportunity to find my voice.
Through this time alone, I came up with the idea of starting a blog to share some of my perspectives, travels, and life experiences. Blooming in the Fourth was born from the process of my evolution - a process that will never be over. A slow and steady climb of me rising into my highest self. It is believed that in the fourth dimension we exist only in love and light. A level of consciousness that sees my fellow humans and myself as divine sparks of light. Interconnected individuals walking this earth with our own unique purpose.
It is highly probable that by now you might ask yourself, “What is this girl on??” I wouldn’t fault you. My views on life might seem a bit hokey to you and that’s perfectly okay.
This blog is about finding my purpose as a wonderful, dynamic, loving and divine being. It is about finding joy, peace, and lots of humor along the way. To hold a space for myself and others to stand in the light. I invite you on this journey with me. All are welcome.
L